


December

by staragii



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Multiple Pairings, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad with a Happy Ending, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 16:23:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20838491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staragii/pseuds/staragii
Summary: When Eren first met Levi, he was a freshman in college, and Levi was a senior. They didn’t hit it off at first, and when Levi left, Eren didn’t ask questions. Just remembered a pretty face, a nice voice, and a private, closed off smile. He’d never seen someone smile like that before.When Levi first met Eren, Eren was working part-time as a convenience store clerk. Levi had just gotten back from overseas, and needed space. From people, from the world. Then Eren had said his name like they were old friends, and Levi had felt his world start to turn again. He hadn’t realized it had stopped.[ This is a WIP. It is mostly told from Levi's POV for the first half, then will switch to Eren. I don't want to spoil too much, but there are a lot of potential triggers. This fic is based off a Neck Deep song (December)]





	December

**Author's Note:**

> Adding this real quick to clear some things up since I won't be updating frequently yet.
> 
> 1: this fic has BOTH Eren/Levi AND Eren/Armin. If you don't like one or the other I recommend reading with an open mind or don't read at all, it will have a lot of both.
> 
> 2: I'm going to be jumping around a lot in time, this fic is NOT chronologic and is MEANT to be confusing at first. I love hearing your theories, and it will all come together in the end.
> 
> 3: Because this got more of a response than expected I'm going to clean up this brain dump and try to write it in chapters for updating regularly, but no promises. If I do decide to drop it, however, I will update with a short rundown of the plot because I have the entire thing planned out (and I don't want it to be a mystery forever!)
> 
> So please bear with me and I hope you enjoy!

Winter had come quicker than he’d thought it would. A layer of frost had settled over the cars parked on the street, the window, and even something as simple as sitting near it caused Levi to be able to see his breath against the icy pane of glass. The world was grey, both inside and out of his chilly apartment, and gazing out the window didn’t bring him any closer to seeing what he truly wanted. All the best and worst moments of his life had taken place in the dead of winter, from his birth until this very moment, though he wouldn’t consider this moment particularly good or bad. Just a moment in time where he was once again alone, looking out on the world from the outside, wondering how he’d ended up on the wrong side of the glass.

Levi stands from his seat by the window to make himself a cup of tea. The two mugs next to the kettle made him tsk in irritation. He’d never been a sentimental person until now, apparently, when he couldn’t even be bothered to put the second set of dishes away in a box somewhere so they wouldn’t be taking up room in his apartment. There was a sort of masochistic sting to the subtle reminders of his loss littered around Levi’s apartment, a blatant reminder of all that he’d lost that he made himself relive from when he opened his eyes to when he closed them again on the world he’d relearned to despise.

After making himself his tea, Levi takes his seat by the window again. This time he’s settled in for the night. The armchair across from his is collecting dust now, something the old him would have thrown a fit over. In fact, the apartment had turned into a bit of a disaster. He didn’t particularly care, however, and ignored it as he had grown to ignore most things in his life. He would have to leave this apartment soon anyway, his meager funds were running out and there was no reason to hang onto so big of a place when it was only for him.

_How did it happen so fast?_ Levi thought to himself as he watched the crawling traffic down below. _The first snow of last year, I wasn’t alone. He was here. _A bitter smile crept across Levi’s face. _Ah, that’s right._

_That’s how it happened._

__________

**ONE YEAR EARLIER**

“Levi! Levi, is that you? Levi Ackerman?” Eren leaned over the counter he was working behind, grinning stupidly. There’s no way he was this lucky. Levi turned, a look of confusion on his face. His hair was shorter now, with an undercut that Eren liked immediately. His crisp uniform suited him well, and Eren quickly dumped the rest of the gum he was restocking onto the counter so he could walk over. He held out a hand that Levi didn’t take, smile unwavering. “We went to the same University, don’t you remember? I’m Eren.”

Levi blinked, then gave Eren a curt nod. “Good to meet you, Eren. I’m Ackerm— ah. Yeah. Levi.” He hadn’t been called ‘Levi’ by anyone in months. He wasn’t even sure how many of his officers knew his first name, none had bothered to ask. Eren dropped his hand, but didn’t seem bothered.

“I know, I remember. You liked black, no sugar, a splash of milk.” Levi blinked, and Eren laughed. “I worked at the Starbucks on campus. You would get the same thing every morning. Had absolutely no patience since I was in training at the time.” Eren’s eyes sparkled in a way Levi had forgotten eyes could, and it made him feel the need to smile back, even if it was small and brief.

“You have a good memory, brat. My apologies for not remembering you,” Levi turned back to the rack of chips and cheap snacks in front of him, and grabbed a couple things at random. Convenience store food. He didn’t even remember what kind of stuff he liked, let alone his old coffee orders. But this kid did.

Eren watched Levi with a sort of sheltered reverence. Levi looked different now, his small bun gone, his ripped leather jackets a thing of the past. Now he was a little taller— although not by more than an inch at most, Eren noted with amusement— fit, and obviously more mature. The Levi he remembered was quick to snap, to argue, and always protested how his name was spelled with little curses under his breath, even when Eren got it right. The man in front of him looked as if he’d snap to attention with one barked order, and it made Eren a little sad. But his brief moments of contemplation were just that, and when Levi picked up a bag of spicy Cheetos, he took them from him. “Ah, you hate spicy food.” Eren put them back, and handed Levi a regular bag. “Trust me. I tried to get you to try these hot potato chips we got one time, and you nearly killed me and made me pay for your glass of milk.”

That made Levi chuckle, and Eren beamed. “Did I? Well, that certainly sounds like something I might’ve done.” The way the kid never stopped smiling almost made Levi uncomfortable, but it was sweet. He was trying to be friendly, and Levi appreciated that. “I’ll stick to your recommendations for now then. I’ve been eating food for sustenance and not taste lately, so I’m even sure what I like anymore.” Levi sighed, his moment of personal sharing drawing a small gasp from Eren.

“Then that means— oh _god_, Levi that means you haven’t tried the new sushi place down the block!” Eren’s face was one of true horror, and Levi was genuinely concerned for a moment. “Levi that’s…that’s…that’s a _crime_. We’re going.” Eren grabs the bags from Levi’s hand, brings them up the counter, and starts working the register in double time. “You’re checking out, I’m clocking out in 10 anyway, and then we’re going.”

Ten minutes later, Eren was carrying Levi’s bag of assorted junk food, and dragging him down the street. Or, rather, he’d tried to drag him, and Levi had pulled away so instinctually Eren hadn’t tried again. Instead, he led the way, talking enough to fill up the silence for both of them.

“—and so that’s why I ended up staying here. Lucky thing, too, since it means I got to see you again.” Eren turns back to look at Levi over his shoulder, and grins. He hasn’t seen Levi properly smile yet, and he wonders if Levi even can. He did laugh, albeit quietly, but that’s a start. Something about him makes Eren want to see him happy. Maybe it’s just his ‘people pleaser’ complex that Jean has lectured him about.

Levi wasn’t sure what made him go along with Eren that night. Maybe it was how casually kind he was, or his ever present smile. It might have been that Levi was just lonely and Eren happened to be there, or perhaps even that somewhere deep down Levi felt like he needed the boy who waited for him. Whatever the reason, Levi let the all-but stranger who remembered his tastes and coffee orders take him dinner, an unprecedented occurrence in Levi’s new life.

When they reached the sushi restaurant, Eren held the door open for Levi. It took Levi a second to accept his chivalry before he begrudgingly walked in in front of Eren, giving the place a once-over. “It looks…decent. Not as busy as I’d expect it to be, given you your rave review.” Levi’s tone was flat, but there was a hint of playfulness to his sarcasm.

Eren chuckled and set Levi’s bag of artery-clogging snacks down on a seat. “That’s because they close in an hour and all the decent people have eaten their fill and gone home for tonight. That means we get the place pretty much to ourselves,” Eren observed, grinning at Levi. “Lucky me.”

“So, Jaeger, you finally decide to bring a date by, eh? Took you long enough, Late Bloomer.” A young man wearing a waiters apron walked out from the employees only area to greet them. Eren rolled his eyes in response to the jest and shook his head.

“No, Horse-face, he’s not a date. He’s, uh…” Eren thought for a second. “He’s an old friend from school.” Levi raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment. In Eren’s defense, ‘guy-who-i-remember-from-my-old-job-who-i-randomly-asked-to-dinner’ didn’t sound much better.

“Eren and I crossed paths on campus,” Levi supplied, deciding to throw Eren a bone. The kid looked thankful, if not downright reverent. “I just came back from overseas and we happen to run into each other at his work.” Levi sat down then, deciding the rest the kid could explain himself.

“Exactly!” Eren exhaled, his tone elated. “Since he was gone I told him he had to come here since you guys recently opened. One thing led to another and—“

“Oh _I remember._” The Horse-face smirked and gave Eren a pointed look. “He’s the one who got away. What was his name again?”

“Ackerman.” Levi’s eye twitched. “Levi Ackerman. And you’re awfully loud for someone in food service. What did you say your name was?” His tone was colder when he spoke up in Eren’s defense. Levi felt protective of this kid who had already turned his night around.

“Excuse me?” The Horse-face recoiled for a second, then came to his senses. He was at work, first and foremost. “Jean. Nice to, uh, meet you. Levi.” Jean held out a hand that Levi didn’t take, then pulled out his pad of paper to take down their orders. “So, your usual Eren?”

The rest of their evening went smoothly. Eren ordered for both of them and Levi was pleasantly surprised with the turnout. The sushi was exceptional, and everything he ate left him pleasantly surprised. Despite the lacking service quality, Levi agreed with Eren’s assessment of the place. After they finished, Levi pulled out his wallet.  
  
“What? No, this is my treat. I dragged you here and made you come with me after all,” Eren argued, already holding a hand up to have Jean bring them the check. “You don’t have to, put your wallet away.”  
  
Levi shook his head, and beckoned Jean with two fingers, giving him a cold stare. “Put your had down, brat. This will be my treat. Besides, there’s no way you make enough to comfortably cover dinner for both of us.”

Eren slowly lowered his hand sheepishly. “Well, yeah, but I wanted to treat _you_. You said you just came back from overseas, so I thought it would be a fun adventure for you. And, you know,” Eren flushed a light shade of pink, casually attempting to hide his face from Jean, who was taking Levi’s card to the front, “I had kinda hoped that if I spoiled you you’d want to, you know, like, do this again. Maybe.”  
  
Levi’s froze for a second, unsure how to respond. He hadn’t had any prior plans for tonight, or any night for that matter, but he wasn’t sure what to do in this situation. Should he agree already and go out with this kid again? Should he turn him down despite the fact that Eren, who Levi barely knew, had made him enjoy himself more than he had in a long time? Levi was a logical and reasonable thinker, he planned out everything down to each minute detail, his school-day spontaneity a thing of the past.

“You want to do this…again,” Levi repeated carefully, making sure he heard Eren right. The kid _had_ said that it wasn’t a date. So perhaps he just wanted someone to share meals with, someone to talk to.

“Uh, yeah, if you’d like. How do I say this,” Eren thought for a second, then continued, his face a darker red, “When you walked into the store, I though ‘This is fate telling me to finally approach him’, and I did and now we’re here. So I’m thinking if I follow my gut some more, it could lead to something good.” Eren shrugged, still sheepish and as genuine as ever, something Levi had grown unaccustomed to. “So, this is me following my gut, Levi. Will you come to dinner with me again?” _He’s asking me out_. “Maybe as like. A date-date?” _He’s a sweet, nice guy, whose actually asking me out on a date. People still do that?_

_People still do that. Ask. Asking. People ask._

_People. Him. He didn’t. Was there ever a date? With Him, was there ever this?_

_No. Eren isn’t Him. Right?_

“—evi? Levi?” Eren’s voice cut through Levi’s intrusive thoughts like a knife. “Levi are you okay? You checked out for a second.” Eren was biting his lower lip out of concern, a hand reaching out as if he was about to grasp Levi’s shoulder to shake it.Levi took a second to readjust before nodding.

“I’m fine, brat. And sure.”

Eren was standing up and grabbing Levi’s bags, getting them ready to leave, and he paused. “What?”

Levi stood with him, eyeing the bags and deciding he’d let the brat carry them, at least back to the car he had left outside the store. “I said ‘sure’. We can do this again. We can talk about it on the way to my car.”

Eren’s eyes widened, as did his smile. He followed Levi out and it took all his willpower to not skip after the man. They exchanged numbers on the way back to Levi’s car, where Eren set the bags in the back seat and waved Levi goodbye. They agreed to talk later to decide on when their ‘next time’ would be. Eren needed time to celebrate and Levi needed time to think, though neither shared this with the other.  
  
__________

_“Ackerman, you show a lot of promise. But I’m going to need more than that from you if you’re going to be promoted. Do you understand?” The shadowed face above him wore a sickening grin, but he wasn’t put off. He wasn’t intimidated or threatened._

_He wasn’t anything at all._

_“Yes, sir,” came the conditioned reply. The hand that tilted up his chin was cold and rough. The air smelled like sweat. The man holding him smelled like liquor and cigar smoke, his teeth too white and his hair too blonde against the dark figure he held in his hands._

_“Then we have an agreement,” the man said, hand drifting from chin to throat to chest. The figure didn’t move beneath him, neither leaned in nor away. Just blinked up at him, and this was taken for agreement._

_How many nights? How many more?_

_He woke with bruises in the morning. The taller man woke with nothing stronger than a hangover. The sun was barely up, but he already thought about what would happen when it when down._

__________


End file.
